Thursday, February 18, 2010

Joe Stack Manifesto

This guy flew his plane into a building that housed some federal IRS buildings in Austin, TX. I am posting it here for others to read since the intitial site was shut down:



If you’re reading this, you’re no doubt asking yourself, “Why did this have to happen?” The simple truth is that it is complicated and has been coming for a long time. The writing process, started many months ago, was intended to be therapy in the face of the looming realization that there isn’t enough therapy in the world that can fix what is really broken. Needless to say, this rant could fill volumes with example after example if I would let it. I find the process of writing it frustrating, tedious, and probably pointless… especially given my gross inability to gracefully articulate my thoughts in light of the storm raging in my head. Exactly what is therapeutic about that I’m not sure, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
We are all taught as children that without laws there would be no society, only anarchy. Sadly, starting at early ages we in this country have been brainwashed to believe that, in return for our dedication and service, our government stands for justice for all. We are further brainwashed to believe that there is freedom in this place, and that we should be ready to lay our lives down for the noble principals represented by its founding fathers. Remember? One of these was “no taxation without representation”. I have spent the total years of my adulthood unlearning that crap from only a few years of my childhood. These days anyone who really stands up for that principal is promptly labeled a “crackpot”, traitor and worse.

While very few working people would say they haven’t had their fair share of taxes (as can I), in my lifetime I can say with a great degree of certainty that there has never been a politician cast a vote on any matter with the likes of me or my interests in mind. Nor, for that matter, are they the least bit interested in me or anything I have to say.

Why is it that a handful of thugs and plunderers can commit unthinkable atrocities (and in the case of the GM executives, for scores of years) and when it’s time for their gravy train to crash under the weight of their gluttony and overwhelming stupidity, the force of the full federal government has no difficulty coming to their aid within days if not hours? Yet at the same time, the joke we call the American medical system, including the drug and insurance companies, are murdering tens of thousands of people a year and stealing from the corpses and victims they cripple, and this country’s leaders don’t see this as important as bailing out a few of their vile, rich cronies. Yet, the political “representatives” (thieves, liars, and self-serving scumbags is far more accurate) have endless time to sit around for year after year and debate the state of the “terrible health care problem”. It’s clear they see no crisis as long as the dead people don’t get in the way of their corporate profits rolling in.

And justice? You’ve got to be kidding!

How can any rational individual explain that white elephant conundrum in the middle of our tax system and, indeed, our entire legal system? Here we have a system that is, by far, too complicated for the brightest of the master scholars to understand. Yet, it mercilessly “holds accountable” its victims, claiming that they’re responsible for fully complying with laws not even the experts understand. The law “requires” a signature on the bottom of a tax filing; yet no one can say truthfully that they understand what they are signing; if that’s not “duress” than what is. If this is not the measure of a totalitarian regime, nothing is.

How did I get here?

My introduction to the real American nightmare starts back in the early ‘80s. Unfortunately after more than 16 years of school, somewhere along the line I picked up the absurd, pompous notion that I could read and understand plain English. Some friends introduced me to a group of people who were having ‘tax code’ readings and discussions. In particular, zeroed in on a section relating to the wonderful “exemptions” that make institutions like the vulgar, corrupt Catholic Church so incredibly wealthy. We carefully studied the law (with the help of some of the “best”, high-paid, experienced tax lawyers in the business), and then began to do exactly what the “big boys” were doing (except that we weren’t steeling from our congregation or lying to the government about our massive profits in the name of God). We took a great deal of care to make it all visible, following all of the rules, exactly the way the law said it was to be done.

The intent of this exercise and our efforts was to bring about a much-needed re-evaluation of the laws that allow the monsters of organized religion to make such a mockery of people who earn an honest living. However, this is where I learned that there are two “interpretations” for every law; one for the very rich, and one for the rest of us… Oh, and the monsters are the very ones making and enforcing the laws; the inquisition is still alive and well today in this country.

That little lesson in patriotism cost me $40,000+, 10 years of my life, and set my retirement plans back to 0. It made me realize for the first time that I live in a country with an ideology that is based on a total and complete lie. It also made me realize, not only how naive I had been, but also the incredible stupidity of the American public; that they buy, hook, line, and sinker, the crap about their “freedom”… and that they continue to do so with eyes closed in the face of overwhelming evidence and all that keeps happening in front of them.

Before even having to make a shaky recovery from the sting of the first lesson on what justice really means in this country (around 1984 after making my way through engineering school and still another five years of “paying my dues”), I felt I finally had to take a chance of launching my dream of becoming an independent engineer.

On the subjects of engineers and dreams of independence, I should digress somewhat to say that I’m sure that I inherited the fascination for creative problem solving from my father. I realized this at a very young age.

The significance of independence, however, came much later during my early years of college; at the age of 18 or 19 when I was living on my own as student in an apartment in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. My neighbor was an elderly retired woman (80+ seemed ancient to me at that age) who was the widowed wife of a retired steel worker. Her husband had worked all his life in the steel mills of central Pennsylvania with promises from big business and the union that, for his 30 years of service, he would have a pension and medical care to look forward to in his retirement. Instead he was one of the thousands who got nothing because the incompetent mill management and corrupt union (not to mention the government) raided their pension funds and stole their retirement. All she had was social security to live on.

In retrospect, the situation was laughable because here I was living on peanut butter and bread (or Ritz crackers when I could afford to splurge) for months at a time. When I got to know this poor figure and heard her story I felt worse for her plight than for my own (I, after all, I thought I had everything to in front of me). I was genuinely appalled at one point, as we exchanged stories and commiserated with each other over our situations, when she in her grandmotherly fashion tried to convince me that I would be “healthier” eating cat food (like her) rather than trying to get all my substance from peanut butter and bread. I couldn’t quite go there, but the impression was made. I decided that I didn’t trust big business to take care of me, and that I would take responsibility for my own future and myself.

Return to the early ‘80s, and here I was off to a terrifying start as a ‘wet-behind-the-ears’ contract software engineer... and two years later, thanks to the fine backroom, midnight effort by the sleazy executives of Arthur Andersen (the very same folks who later brought us Enron and other such calamities) and an equally sleazy New York Senator (Patrick Moynihan), we saw the passage of 1986 tax reform act with its section 1706.

For you who are unfamiliar, here is the core text of the IRS Section 1706, defining the treatment of workers (such as contract engineers) for tax purposes. Visit this link for a conference committee report (http://www.synergistech.com/1706.shtml#ConferenceCommitteeReport) regarding the intended interpretation of Section 1706 and the relevant parts of Section 530, as amended. For information on how these laws affect technical services workers and their clients, read our discussion here (http://www.synergistech.com/ic-taxlaw.shtml).

SEC. 1706. TREATMENT OF CERTAIN TECHNICAL PERSONNEL.

(a) IN GENERAL - Section 530 of the Revenue Act of 1978 is amended by adding at the end thereof the following new subsection:

(d) EXCEPTION. - This section shall not apply in the case of an individual who pursuant to an arrangement between the taxpayer and another person, provides services for such other person as an engineer, designer, drafter, computer programmer, systems analyst, or other similarly skilled worker engaged in a similar line of work.

(b) EFFECTIVE DATE. - The amendment made by this section shall apply to remuneration paid and services rendered after December 31, 1986.

Note:

· "another person" is the client in the traditional job-shop relationship.
· "taxpayer" is the recruiter, broker, agency, or job shop.
· "individual", "employee", or "worker" is you.


Admittedly, you need to read the treatment to understand what it is saying but it’s not very complicated. The bottom line is that they may as well have put my name right in the text of section (d). Moreover, they could only have been more blunt if they would have came out and directly declared me a criminal and non-citizen slave. Twenty years later, I still can’t believe my eyes.

During 1987, I spent close to $5000 of my ‘pocket change’, and at least 1000 hours of my time writing, printing, and mailing to any senator, congressman, governor, or slug that might listen; none did, and they universally treated me as if I was wasting their time. I spent countless hours on the L.A. freeways driving to meetings and any and all of the disorganized professional groups who were attempting to mount a campaign against this atrocity. This, only to discover that our efforts were being easily derailed by a few moles from the brokers who were just beginning to enjoy the windfall from the new declaration of their “freedom”. Oh, and don’t forget, for all of the time I was spending on this, I was loosing income that I couldn’t bill clients.

After months of struggling it had clearly gotten to be a futile exercise. The best we could get for all of our trouble is a pronouncement from an IRS mouthpiece that they weren’t going to enforce that provision (read harass engineers and scientists). This immediately proved to be a lie, and the mere existence of the regulation began to have its impact on my bottom line; this, of course, was the intended effect.

Again, rewind my retirement plans back to 0 and shift them into idle. If I had any sense, I clearly should have left abandoned engineering and never looked back.

Instead I got busy working 100-hour workweeks. Then came the L.A. depression of the early 1990s. Our leaders decided that they didn’t need the all of those extra Air Force bases they had in Southern California, so they were closed; just like that. The result was economic devastation in the region that rivaled the widely publicized Texas S&L fiasco. However, because the government caused it, no one gave a shit about all of the young families who lost their homes or street after street of boarded up houses abandoned to the wealthy loan companies who received government funds to “shore up” their windfall. Again, I lost my retirement.

Years later, after weathering a divorce and the constant struggle trying to build some momentum with my business, I find myself once again beginning to finally pick up some speed. Then came the .COM bust and the 911 nightmare. Our leaders decided that all aircraft were grounded for what seemed like an eternity; and long after that, ‘special’ facilities like San Francisco were on security alert for months. This made access to my customers prohibitively expensive. Ironically, after what they had done the Government came to the aid of the airlines with billions of our tax dollars … as usual they left me to rot and die while they bailed out their rich, incompetent cronies WITH MY MONEY! After these events, there went my business but not quite yet all of my retirement and savings.

By this time, I’m thinking that it might be good for a change. Bye to California, I’ll try Austin for a while. So I moved, only to find out that this is a place with a highly inflated sense of self-importance and where damn little real engineering work is done. I’ve never experienced such a hard time finding work. The rates are 1/3 of what I was earning before the crash, because pay rates here are fixed by the three or four large companies in the area who are in collusion to drive down prices and wages… and this happens because the justice department is all on the take and doesn’t give a fuck about serving anyone or anything but themselves and their rich buddies.

To survive, I was forced to cannibalize my savings and retirement, the last of which was a small IRA. This came in a year with mammoth expenses and not a single dollar of income. I filed no return that year thinking that because I didn’t have any income there was no need. The sleazy government decided that they disagreed. But they didn’t notify me in time for me to launch a legal objection so when I attempted to get a protest filed with the court I was told I was no longer entitled to due process because the time to file ran out. Bend over for another $10,000 helping of justice.

So now we come to the present. After my experience with the CPA world, following the business crash I swore that I’d never enter another accountant’s office again. But here I am with a new marriage and a boatload of undocumented income, not to mention an expensive new business asset, a piano, which I had no idea how to handle. After considerable thought I decided that it would be irresponsible NOT to get professional help; a very big mistake.

When we received the forms back I was very optimistic that they were in order. I had taken all of the years information to Bill Ross, and he came back with results very similar to what I was expecting. Except that he had neglected to include the contents of Sheryl’s unreported income; $12,700 worth of it. To make matters worse, Ross knew all along this was missing and I didn’t have a clue until he pointed it out in the middle of the audit. By that time it had become brutally evident that he was representing himself and not me.

This left me stuck in the middle of this disaster trying to defend transactions that have no relationship to anything tax-related (at least the tax-related transactions were poorly documented). Things I never knew anything about and things my wife had no clue would ever matter to anyone. The end result is… well, just look around.

I remember reading about the stock market crash before the “great” depression and how there were wealthy bankers and businessmen jumping out of windows when they realized they screwed up and lost everything. Isn’t it ironic how far we’ve come in 60 years in this country that they now know how to fix that little economic problem; they just steal from the middle class (who doesn’t have any say in it, elections are a joke) to cover their asses and it’s “business-as-usual”. Now when the wealthy fuck up, the poor get to die for the mistakes… isn’t that a clever, tidy solution.

As government agencies go, the FAA is often justifiably referred to as a tombstone agency, though they are hardly alone. The recent presidential puppet GW Bush and his cronies in their eight years certainly reinforced for all of us that this criticism rings equally true for all of the government. Nothing changes unless there is a body count (unless it is in the interest of the wealthy sows at the government trough). In a government full of hypocrites from top to bottom, life is as cheap as their lies and their self-serving laws.

I know I’m hardly the first one to decide I have had all I can stand. It has always been a myth that people have stopped dying for their freedom in this country, and it isn’t limited to the blacks, and poor immigrants. I know there have been countless before me and there are sure to be as many after. But I also know that by not adding my body to the count, I insure nothing will change. I choose to not keep looking over my shoulder at “big brother” while he strips my carcass, I choose not to ignore what is going on all around me, I choose not to pretend that business as usual won’t continue; I have just had enough.

I can only hope that the numbers quickly get too big to be white washed and ignored that the American zombies wake up and revolt; it will take nothing less. I would only hope that by striking a nerve that stimulates the inevitable double standard, knee-jerk government reaction that results in more stupid draconian restrictions people wake up and begin to see the pompous political thugs and their mindless minions for what they are. Sadly, though I spent my entire life trying to believe it wasn’t so, but violence not only is the answer, it is the only answer. The cruel joke is that the really big chunks of shit at the top have known this all along and have been laughing, at and using this awareness against, fools like me all along.

I saw it written once that the definition of insanity is repeating the same process over and over and expecting the outcome to suddenly be different. I am finally ready to stop this insanity. Well, Mr. Big Brother IRS man, let’s try something different; take my pound of flesh and sleep well.

The communist creed: From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

The capitalist creed: From each according to his gullibility, to each according to his greed.



Joe Stack (1956-2010)
02/18/2010

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Dress!

I had some extra money come in this month, and since the Joker was making a special trip to see me for Valentine's Day, I figured I could splurge on a new dress that I will most likely never wear again!  I had looked at dresses online some. One of the stores at the mall had a website and I picked out a few dresses that I liked.

We went out on a Wednesday, The Baby and I.  I picked The Baby up from the daycare and off we went!  I found the store I had looked at online, Forever 21.  I only found a couple of the dresses I had looked at online, but both had my size.  One that I knew would look bad on me (and it did) and another that I was stoked about trying on because it was extremely cute!

For reference, here are the ones I found in the store:

#1 - looked horrible, I guess it was wishful thinking that even got me to try it on.It's really not my style at all!  Feels kinda Madonna-ish with the emphasis on the boobs, doesn't it?





















This next one is that one I liked best out of all the ones I saw online.  I loved the rose-like embellishments around the hem!  So, you can see why I was so stoked to try it on when I found it in store AND in my size!  Alas, my enthusiasm was all for naught.  The dress didn't seem very well made.  The straps were removable, but in order to keep the dress up, I needed the straps to be taut.  When I tightened the straps enough, they pulled the lining up instead of the dress!  I was so disappointed.  I had them hold it for me for a day.  I figured I would look around the mall some more and if I didn't find anything, I would still have a day to think over whether it would be worth it to buy a dress I needed to alter.



















It's cute, though, right? I wanted something like this so that I could get a black petticoat skirt to put underneath it to make it fuller and so that you could see a hint of black out the bottom, but this dress had a liner underneath, so that would have been awkward anyways...

So, I searched through the stores I had in mind and some that I didn't.  My last resort for the day was a newer store that I hadn't seen before and can't, for the life of me, think of the name!  I had low expectations.  The store was small, only a few red dresses, barely any selection in sizes and no rhyme or reason to organization that I could see. 

Then I saw it. 

One red dress randomly placed on a rack with other black dresses that were not similar to it at all.  It had the rose embellishment on it that I liked, and the poofy skirt that I wanted.  I was skeptical.  What are the odds that they would have such a cute dress like this in my size so close to Valentine's.  I walked carefully over to it, gently pulled it towards me so that I could see the tag...

SMALL!!  It was a SMALL!!  MY SIZE!!

... but, how would it look?

Well, here, you decide!
Side Note - I had The Baby (yeah, yeah, I know she's 3 1/2, now) take these pictures... perhaps we have a budding photographer here?

#1 (I cropped it so as to spare you the sight of my horrendous morning hair, I snapped these pics to send to my mom)


















#2 (When I saw that she had cropped the bottom of the dress in the previous picture, I told her we needed to see the bottom of the dress, too.  She didn't quote get the 'too' part)



















#3  (Now she's getting all artsy on me, isn't she?)



















By this time, I think she was getting tired of me telling her to try again, so she decided that she wasn't going to follow my suggestion of holding the camera sideways anymore.  (I had thought that would be easier for her to get the whole dress in the picture... I was wrong.)  She got this picture on the first try.  Granted, it's a little blurry and the color is off, but she still gets props for it.  Haha!

#4




















Wanna know my favorite part about this dress?  It has pockets! *hee hee*

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Eclipse Script Leaked...

This was the title of a thread on a message board I frequent.  When I saw it, I immediately wondered what Eclipse was, how she dropped it and why she needed a prescription for it in the first place...


(Eclipse is the name of the new movie coming out based on that vampire book series that I can't remember the name of the first one, but that's ok, I'm not going to read them anyways; I'm not all that in to vampire stories, but I do so like my run-on sentences; they make me happy...)

Friday, December 11, 2009

I should be doing laundry...

Actually, I should be, sleeping because it's midnight, but neither The Baby nor I have anything practical to wear tomorrow.  I really should have done laundry last night, but instead, I decided I would get up really early and put clothes in the wash and go back to bed.  Yes, I am not only lazy and an "excellent" (I put that in quotations to make sure you could hear the sarcasm in my words, mmm-kay?) procrastinator, I also have unfounded faith in my ability to function in the morning.

Care to guess what happened when my alarm went off this morning?

Yep.

I hit the snooze button.

Every 10 minutes.

For three hours.

I'm going to go start a load of laundry, now...

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Oh, is it irony? or just weird coincidence?

Remember that story I wrote out a few months back?  The one about looking for a ring and finding the candy canes instead?  The candy canes that brought up memories of a Christmas 4 years in the past? 

Yeah? 

Well, I found the ring today.

In the very first drawer I looked in when I searched for it the first time.  This time, I had memories twice as old as the former come flooding back.  I don't remember much, good or bad.  My very first real relationship.  Somehow this ring has made it through 8 years and a move to a smaller house.  I would return it, but if he didn't want it back 8 years ago, I'm pretty sure he's not going to want it now.  What's he going to do with it?  Give it to the pregnant girlfriend he's trying to cheat on with me?  I doubt it.

It's strange the way we've changed.  We reconnected through an internet social site a few months ago (hence the searching for the ring just to see if I still had it).  I'm taller than he is, now.  He used to be all about skinheadedness and started growing his hair after we broke up.  He no longer speaks to the mutual friend I met him through.  He wears skinny jeans, works in a leather shop that specializes in S&M products, I believe, and is in school for fashion design.

He's still as persistent as ever.  Assumes that he can get his way if he keeps insisting and pushing me around.  I, however, don't take his crap this time around.  I make my own decisions.  I got no butterflies in my stomach that first time I saw his name after these 8 long years.

I went to see him once in the last few months.  He tried to act like we were 16 again and still together.  Tried to force a kiss before I left and I threatened to physically hurt him.  I think that shocked him into backing off.  I haven't talked to him since.

Now, are you ready for the irony, or weird coincidence, or whatever?

When I went looking in that drawer, I was aiming for the Christmas CD in the back!

Christmas seems to be a common denominator in dredging up memories, huh?  Wish it would remind me of happy times...

I think I am going to get rid of this ring. Then maybe I will stop thinking about the similarities in the relationships that worry me and start remembering the differences in the personalities that calm my fears.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I just found out that a check that I wrote on Monday for $100, just went through on my account as $600 which caused that account (not my main account) to go under and incur an insufficient funds fee.  This is the account is the one I use to pay the daycare.  I have a certain amount deposited directly into this account from my paycheck, enough to cover the cost of two weeks, and the rest goes into my main account.

I called the bank and it will take 2-5 business days to fix, which means I do not have access to any of the money that is supposed to be in that account, including extra $50 I keep in there for emergencies that would have helped me replace the stupid tire on my car that keeps going flat!  So here's hoping I have enough in my main account to cover the cost of the tire and my holiday traveling expenses!


So then I called the daycare provider and asked her to check her online for me. She said everything looked fine, but then, while I was on the phone with her, she got a $500 recall on her account! WTF?! Now she is having to call HER bank as well!

Happy Freaking Thanksgiving!!

*bleh*

**Ok, so I just talked to my dad and he is going to meet me up at the discount tire after work and has offered to pay if I do need to replace the tires!  YAY!!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Halloween 2009 - *whew* Thank goodness it's OVER!!

(This is a long, detailed description of my Friday night and Saturday, if you don't want to read it all, you can just look at the pictures and read the last sentence...)


  
The Baby insisted on being piglet for Halloween. Even if I could have found one to buy, they don't make piglet costumes for tall toddlers!
 
So I went to Joann's Friday night (10.30.09) after work and got some felt and fabric dye (just in case).
 
Then I went to WalMart. The one 30 minutes away because it's bigger than the one by my house and I knew for certain it would have the pink pants and matching shirt I needed. I not only found what I needed, I also found a perfect pink knit cap for $1!!
 
I found their leotards, but they weren't exactly what I needed, so I paid for the clothes I had picked up and headed across the street to the Target, which had Jack Shit for what I could use.
 
Ok, fine. I came all the way back to the WalMart by my house because I swore I saw a leotard like what I needed there. I was wrong and I couldn't even find the leotards that I had seen at the first WalMart! They weren't ideal, but I could've made it work, right?
 
By this time, it was getting late, it was past bedtime, I was cranky cause The Baby decided she wanted my dinner instead of hers, The Baby was cranky cause she was tired and I was getting crankier trying to deal with a tired, cranky toddler! So I took her home, put her to bed and left her with my dad so i could go to a DIFFERENT WalMart 15 minutes in a different direction.
 
I found the very small, 3x4ft aisle where WalMart keeps their dance wear, grabbed a small, short sleeved leotard and left, patting myself on the back, while kicking myself for not getting the leotard in the first place at the first WalMart.
 
I took everything home, took all the tags off and threw it all into the washer because I couldn't dye the leotard until it had been washed, right? Thank goodness I bought that dye!
 
After waiting and waiting for the washer to be done so I could start the dyeing process, I found that the darn leotard didn't even make it into the wash with everything else!!
 
I grabbed a few things and started a new load. This time, I made SURE the leotard was included. I didn't even get to start dying it until 1am!

 
It took a little over an hour to dye. I rinsed it in the bathtub as well as I could and threw it in the wash with an old towel.
 
While waiting for the dye to set, I started on making piglet ears. I cut large, leaf-like shapes out of felt, pinched them in the middle and stitched it so the pinch would stay. This way I could be sure that the ears would stand up when I sewed them onto the $1 hat I found at the WalMart!

1ear done!(1am):


2ears done! (2am!):

 

 
When the washer stopped, I hung the leotard up to dry and went to bed. It was 3am!
 
We were up by 7:30 the next morning and The Baby was SO happy with her piglet ears.

 


So happy, obviously, that she had to try them on before even going to the bathroom! haha!

 
I put on a Winnie the Pooh dvd for her to watch and set out to add the finishing touches to the leotard. A pair of scissors and a sharpie later and voila!

 

 

 
PRESENTING, THE BABY as PIGLET!:

 

 
Oh d-d-d-DEAR!!
(Please, please, please somebody notice that my little piglet has pigtails!)
 

 

 
THEN - I left my purse and camera (VERY important to have) at a friends house on the way to The Guy's to meet up with BMF (Best Mom Friend) and BBF  (The Baby's best friend) at BBF's dad's house for ToTing (BBF's dad lives less than a minute away from The Guy). geez, that was a mouthful...

 
So, I dropped The Guy and The Baby off with BMF, BBF's dad and BBF and went off to get my camera. They were done ToTing before I even got to where I had left it!

It's all good as long as The Baby liked her costume and got to go trick or treating, right?  yeah.  it is. *smile*

I told The Guy that Halloween was his responsibility next year. Ha!

So, in short, I spent all night on a costume only to miss seeing her trick or treat in it because I had to have my stupid camera. Worst Halloween E.V.E.R. (Except for the cuteness that is My Little Piglet!)

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Memory

A strange thing. Everyone remembers things differently. It's interesting to think how two people can be in the same place at the same time and remember completely different parts of that time. It's crazy the little things I can remember from years ago, but then I can't remember whether or not I ate breakfast this morning. Also, the things that trigger these memories can be so completely random. Like, if I can remember what I was wearing on a particular day, I can remember details about that day that no one else would. Or, If you can tell me what I was wearing, I can tell you the date if it's within a month. Strange. Very strange the way the mind works.

Today, I was searching through my drawers looking for a ring that it is possible that I have thrown away. Not probable; I remember thinking about going outside and just flinging it as far as I could, but I doubt I ever really did. There's not telling where it has ended up, now, I didn't find it.

What I did find, buried in the bottom of my desk drawer, was 14 peppermint candy canes. I immediately knew how many there were without having to count them. I remember the night I begged to go look at the Christmas lights in the park, how it was the end of the season and the ladies handing out the candy canes at the end gave us all they had in their hands. 14 to be exact. I remember counting. I remember it being dark and going to look at more Christmas lights around the town. I gave horrible directions. I said to go straight, because I thought we were on a different street. You couldn't go straight on this one.

This was years ago, and yet, every aspect of that night came flooding back because of these stupid candy canes.

I threw them away.

I don't even like peppermint.

Good Riddance.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

BATTLE!!

I just stalked a Spider...

Seriously.

This was no ordinary spider, this was one of those Spiders that looks like a tiny tarantula. Hairy and ugly. I have a sneaking suspicion it is the same Spider I saw climbing up the outside of my window the other day. He was caught between the window and the screen. He must have heard my *sigh* of relief and silent laughing at his plight and came back for revenge...

I'm trying to upload a video I took, I doubt it will work...

He (or she?!) was climbing up the door frame, I was trying to file, but just couldn't bring myself to have my back facing this monster. For goodness sakes, I saw it JUMP!!

Now, I could have asked one of the guys in the office to dispose of it for me, but why do they need to know how much of a wimp I am?

I watched it for a while. Thank goodness no one saw the look of utter horror on my face as they walked past. I tried to get a picture of it, but it was moving so jerkily and quickly that all I got were little blurs with many, many legs. Oh my, so many legs.... so many....

*cough*

Sorry.

So it was climbing so fast and so high, I, being the stupid girl that I am, decide to blow at it to see if I can get it to stop...

That little fucker dived off of that door frame and nearly landed on me!

I look down and he has disappeared into the multi-colored carpet.

"Bad plan, very BAD plan."

Now it's on the floor, I can sit in the chair and finish my filing with my feet off the floor looking like an idiot, but he could still climb up the legs of the chair!

So I get down on the floor, searching with my face as close to the floor as i dared and searched for the damn thing. I would find it, stand up to step on it and it would be moving so quickly that I couldn't even kill it with my big ol' feet!! (seriously, they're huge)

I started looking for it while bent over instead of actually being on the floor and that damn Spider was STILL too fast for me!! I would think I squished him, but there wouldn't be any spidey guts on my shoe and when I would go to look for them on the floor, I would catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye. It was like a weird kind of dance and I would much rather never learn the rest...

We went back and forth like this for a good few minutes. I chased him out of the office, but for the rest of the day, I will sit in MY office, scared to death because this is the direction he was heading when I couldn't find him anymore!

Spider: 1
Me: 0

*sigh*

OH GOD IS THAT SOMETHING CRAWLING ON MY LEG?!??!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Love YOU!!

Well, I believe we have broached the topic of 'love' before....

As I recall, I was not very upbeat or optimistic about the whole subject. I never was one of those girls who gushed over a guy. Never had smarmy nicknames like 'Schmoopie', or 'SugaDumplin'SweetiePie'....

Never liked those stupid, "I love you"-"I love you more!"-"No, I love YOU more!" games (Still don't!) That just wasn't my style.

I have actually cringed when a guy called me his girlfriend(we hadn't discussed anything of the sort) and have corrected another for telling me he loved me after only three weeks or something ridiculous like that.

I will admit I have been cynical. Heck, I already have!


Well, kiddos, today is a post of a different color. Or perhaps it is more black and white:






This is my profile picture on my facebook.



Yes, I took it myself, I take all my own pictures, you ought to know that by now! Sometimes I wish I had photoshop for real so I could do lots of cool stuff, but I'll settle for this, for now.



This is me, kissing.... wait for it.... wait for it.... my boyfriend. (Wait did I really say it out loud? We're in a facebook relationship, so it must be real, right?!) He says this is the universal sign that you are in a relationship, when the girl puts up a picture of the two of you kissing. That's when it's official. If you're gunna freak out and run, do it now cause there ain't no turning back! ;D



I know, in the past, I have had a severe allergic reaction to this type of affection... but somehow, this is different. Very different. This is not some guy who has fallen instantly in love with me. This is a guy I have known for 10 years. Can't say he doesn't know me, can I? He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. When he says these things, there is no urge to vomit. (That's a pretty thought, huh?) When he says he loves me, there is no hesitation when I respond with "I love you, too." I know he means it. As do I. When I send him a heart symbol through text messaging, my own heart longs to be the one on it's way to him.



I can't help it. I am that girl. That gushing, nickname calling, "I love you whole bunches!" kinda girl. He brings out the smarm in me and I love it.



I've been trying to write this post for days. It's been in my head for a lot longer! I mentioned this to him and offered him the privilege of choosing his own alias. His first suggestion: God.



I vetoed that one.



His next suggestion? Jesus the Lord. (J.L. for short, of course!)



Sorry. Next?



This is where he asked my opinion. I told him that if he didn't choose, I was just going to call him The BF.



He offered me more variations on his first two suggestions. (Jesus Christ, J.C., The Lord Our God (The L.G. for short). I was not amused. Blasphemy is not one of my favorite subjects.



He suggested I call him The Dude, but I fear that is just too close to The Guy's alias. What a mess that would be if I got the names confused!



The next thought he had was 'Jeff'(Andonuts) a character from the video game, 'Earthbound'. While the character fits (intelligent, creative, glasses and a blond chili-bowl haircut like the one he had when he was younger), It is not a good alias as it would be very confusing using an actual name. Well, it would be confusing for me, at least!

We finally decided on 'The Joker':


A fitting alias. I approve! He went as joker for Halloween last year and I wish I could have been there to see it, or help him make it, or even been there when the tread came off his tire in the middle of nowhere so that he wouldn't have been alone. I wish I could have been there to make things better.

Well, I loved his costume in pictures!

Aw Hell, I love him.

*daydreamy sigh*

Now if only he didn't live four hours away! What a punk!

(Love you, Baby!)

Monday, April 13, 2009

I <3...

I started receiving these e-mails from iheartdaily.com about a month or two ago. Don't ask how I stumbled upon the site, because I really have no clue. I remember signing up for them, but that's about it. I'm very glad I did.

Every morning, I get an e-mail from them about something the authors (or guest authors in some cases) have found that they love. Each article ranges in spectrum from fashion to books to news to music. For example, I have learned about t-shirt prom dresses, The Sledge Grits Band, and affordable glasses that use water to adjust the strength of the lenses.

One of the things I gave up during Lent was purchasing unnecessary clothing. My will-power was strained to the breaking point when the link to Sock Dreams showed up in my I Heart Daily e-mail. I have a deep affinity for unique socks. The only plain socks I have in my sock drawer are white ankle socks for work and even some of those have a ring of color around the cuff. Even now, I am drooling over this website.

Now you know my dirty little fashion secret. I have even been known to wear fun knee high socks with my Capri pants. Yes, yes. Fashion disaster, right here. If I hadn't had to throw those Capri pants away because I popped a button (*gasp*), I would take a picture so you could see how I rock my fashion statements!

My point for telling you about I Heart Daily is not just because I think you should subscribe to their daily e-mails, 'cause really, you should. It's like a ray of sunshine in my inbox every morning. I mean, their tagline is "You’ll never hear about stuff we hate, just stuff we heart. We’re nice that way." You can't go wrong with that!

The real reason I am giving you the background on I Heart Daily has a lot to do with what I got in my inbox from them this morning. Today, I Heart Daily hearts an etsy jewelry designer. Her shop is called yellowgoats. In particular, her $15 version of the seller's original Good Time Ring. It is a picture frame for your finger! I Love it!

I had heard of etsy before, but I had never felt the need to check it out, really, but I just had to check this seller out. I clicked the link and soon decided that I had to sign up so that I could add this seller and some of her pieces to my favorites. My favorite piece from her store is a small matchbox necklace. The handmade box, which is stamped with the words, Perfect Match, actually slides open to reveal two small matches inside. A bit out of my price range, but still absolutely wonderful.

So I created an account and decided to browse. I didn't really get a chance to look at much. In fact, I only looked at one other seller. One of her pieces was displayed under the gift guide and I fell instantly in love. Her shop is called KeysAndMemories. She creates wonderful jewelry from vintage typewriter keys. My favorite from her shop is this XO earring set.

As I searched through all of her listings, I found that she does not only make jewelry from typewriter keys. She also makes beautiful Glass Tile Necklaces. My favorite being the Wonderland XO Glass Tile Necklace. I'm debating whether or not I should ask for a JS (my initials) necklace like that one. I am slightly impulsive, but the past 6 weeks of limited spending seem to have inhibited my impulse buying habits... We'll have to see. ;)

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I'm a flake, it's ok, everyone else knows, you should, too.

I'm sorry I haven't written anything in a while. *smack hand* I know, I know. The trip to Florida was good. I haven't done anything with any of the pictures, I need to get on that... *blush*
I'll catch up with some stuff from the past three months in a little bit later. I'm here today to bring you a story from the past week that has had me in agony from the pain of shin splints. You, however, will probably be laughing at my misfortune! Shame on you!
I get shin splints every time I run. I don't run regularly, and am in no sort of shape. Just for the record, you know... I honestly blame colorguard and marching band for introducing me to this pain. Seriously. I believe the constant laps I had to run for my being late are the initial cause. I often wonder if I would get them so often now if I hadn't gotten them for that first time in high school...
What's that you say? Maybe I should have been on time? Well then my nickname of 7:20 would not have made sense, so shove it!
Okay, okay, enough complaining, here's your story for the day!
I was in a hurry. I parked the wrong way in a parking lot of angled spots at the post office. I was just going to jump out real quick to put a FedEx envelope in the drop box, so I left the car running. I got out of the car and closed the door behind me as I ran up to the drop box.

When I got back to the car, I realized that I have programmed myself to lock the doors whenever I get out of the car. (If I don't do it every time, I forget for days...) This time was no different.

Yep. I had locked my keys in the car with the engine running.

Along with my phone, my purse and any number of enticing and useful items...

I couldn't call work for help, most people were gone already anyways. I was supposed to meet up with The Guy cause he owed me money; I couldn't call him and tell him what was up. There was no one else in the parking lot that I could borrow a phone from, not that I would know any numbers anyways, I have become way to dependent on my phone knowing the important numbers. [expletive deleted]

I briefly debated grabbing the trashcan/ashtray in front of the post office and breaking a window. I decided against it. With my luck, the thing was probably plastic.

So I ran back to work.

It wasn't far, a couple or three blocks.

Big G., the only guy who hadn't left work for the day, drove me back to the post office. He called a few friends to get an idea of what to do, left me with his phone and went to his house to grab a wire coat hanger and some tools. I called work and had the office manager look up the number to the daycare to call them to tell them what was going on.

Big. G returned a few minutes later and I am amazed at just how easy it was to pop that damn lock, especially for someone who had never done it before! Shit!

So, since I paid the car off a few weeks ago, I had a spare key at home. It is now here in my desk at work. Things could have been so much worse. I'm glad they weren't.

And, of course, the story was all over the office the next day. "Do you know where your keys are?" was a very popular phrase...
*sigh*

Monday, December 29, 2008

Happy Holidays!

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas or a Happy Hanukkah!

I started losing my voice a few days before Christmas and I still haven't found it. Well, at least I haven't found mine. I seem to have stumbled upon the voice of a very large, emphysematic (yes, I just made that word up...) biker who has smoked 3 packs a day for the past 45 or so years, though. I imagine that he has a balding head, a long black ponytail with a touch of grey, a fully grey handlebar moustache and a big studded black leather jacket with matching pants. Can you hear it? I can.

This happens a couple times per year, this losing my voice thing. Last time,I couldn't remember what my voice sounded like normally, so when it finally did come back, I wasn't sure it was really mine!

I will be leaving Wednesday morning for Tampa to visit my Mom and Gramma. We will be gone for the better part of a week.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Years Eve!

Until next year!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Picture FUN!!


I had been trying to get Christmas pictures done for over a week. I was planning to do them this past Saturday while The Guy was working.


A couple days before, he informs me that him mom and his aunt really want to watch The Baby while he is working. I told him I was planning on taking pictures and he asks me why I can't do them on Monday after work. (Three days before Christmas) If I put it off again, it won't get done, I had been trying to do it after work all week!


We agree that I will take her for the afternoon and bring her back for dinner so I can get the pictures done. I woke up excited Saturday only to find a txt message on my phone asking, once again, if I can wait on the pictures because now his sister is coming home to see her.


So I called him.


"If I don't get to do these today, then I want you to bring her back early tomorrow and help me with the pictures."

"Ok, yeah, I guess I can do that."


So, Sunday rolled around and what did he do?


He put her down for her nap an hour and a half late, brought her back on time (not early, he was actually 5 minutes late if we're going to be technical about it) and dared to tell me that it doesn't take that long to take pictures.


*exasperated sigh*


Thank goodness I had everything set up! The back drop was set, the lighting was good, I cleaned the white chair so that it actually looks white. We were ready!


I made up a plate of chicken, mashed potatoes and basil pasta for The Baby. (Leftovers from our company Christmas party this past Friday.) I cut up her chicken and stuck it in the microwave. I already knew The Guy would be hungry and was already making his plate when I asked him if he was. (He got the last of the left overs.)


FINALLY...


Both plates were clean, it's time to get The Baby dressed for what promised to be an exhausting ordeal.


The guy dressed her, tights and all, all by himself. I was quite impressed!


We set her up on the chair. I got the camera out, ready to start snapping...


WHAT?!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BATTERY IS DEAD?!?!


I took the battery out and stuck it on the charger . I was going to give it about 15 minutes and I hoped that would be long enough to get a few good shots before it died again. Then I figured we could charge it again while we changed her into the second dress! Perfect!


To keep her entertained while we waited for the battery to charge, we both started snapping pictures with our phones. If only my phone had better than a 2mp camera on it, I swear some of those pictures turned out really cute!


Of course, she used most of her cute poses on the camera phones and by the time we got the regular camera back out, it was all silliness!


She grabbed a TY lamb off the bed and I let her use it in the pictures. Good thinking Baby! A Prop! Too bad her next choice was a rock that she had brought in from the driveway last week....


Well, the battery charging plan worked just as I had hoped and we got some good pictures. By about 8:30, somebody was getting cranky so we had to stop. I think we wore her out good because she went down for bedtime really easily. Thank Goodness!


Monday, December 15, 2008

Finally!

I've been wanting to get this done for YEARS!! I finally just decided that today was the day!

Merry Early Christmas to Me!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Do you Woot?

http://www.woot.com/

http://www.woot.com/WhatIsWoot.aspx


Basically, woot.com is a website that puts up a new 'Deal A Day' everyday. Usually a pretty good deal, or so I'm told. Plus shipping is only $5 for anything. (The writers pull out some pretty funny stuff in the descriptions as well, so if you don't go for the 'stuff', you'll at least get a kick out of that!)

Periodically, they will have a 'Woot Off' where they put up something until it is sold out. Don't worry, though, they usually put things up multiple times throughout the ordeal, which could last anywhere from 24 - 72 hours. A 'Woot Off' can be identified by the orange flashing lights on the main page.

At some point during a 'Woot Off', Woot will offer up a coveted 'Bag of Crap'. A BoC is sold for only $1 and could contain any number of things (it is defined as 3 different things, but that is not always the case). Anything that they have not been able to sell or don't think are worth selling, you'll have to ask them, I guess. I hear someone actually got one of those spiffy, cool, roaming robot vacuums in her $1 BoC!

I should also mention at this point that these BoCs are coveted so because it is a task to get one. Once it comes up in a Woot Off, you better believe every person watching woot.com is going to be clicking the 'I want one!' button, which, in turn, is hard on the system. Servers crashing left and right I'm sure. I have successfully obtained two BoCs during the past two Woot Offs. It has not come up yet for this one.

Well, to make a point of this description, I have a story to go with:

During the last 'Woot Off', I obtained a BoC.

For my $6.50 ($1BoC+$5shipping+$.50tax cause I live in the same state), I received the following.


Words cannot adequately convey how hard I laughed when I opened this:





Each small box contains a life size, life like, ceramic pack of doublemint gum and one miniature ceramic piece of doublemint gum.

Each pack contains 3 small boxes.

The case contains 24 packs.

That's right, I am now the 'proud' owner of 72 ceramic packs of Doublemint Gum.

Sweet! er... Minty!

Guess I've got Christmas covered, huh?

* I noticed I am getting some hits from real wooters (I'm really only a whenever-I-remember kind of wooter) *waves* Thanks Gretchen! - Please feel free to add to or correct my woot.com description if you feel it is inadequate!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

"I'm a little Teapot..."

"I'm a little Teapot,
Short and Stout.
Here is my handle,
and here is my Spout.
When I get all steamed up,
Hear me shout!
Then tip me over
and pour me out!"
Sometimes I wish I could be like that. When I would get real steamed up and dangerously mad, I could just lean a little to the left. The steam would escape, taking with it the red I was seeing, the fogginess it was creating in my brain and The headache that was forming prom the stress the pressure was putting on my brain.
I would be able to think clearly and rationally about whatever it was that was making me mad. I would be able to understand the consequences of the violence I was considering. I would be able to calmly state my feelings without a passive aggressive undertone.
The only maybe not so sweet part is that people would be able to tell when I was pissed. They would start running when they hear me walking down the hall whistling 'Dixie'. The dogs would never come inside and there would be mold everywhere! Not to mention what would happen if I didn't lean to the left! Well, at least I wouldn't have to clean up that mess, right?
And what guy would want to be with a girl who is always leaning, anyways? Having water and steam coming out of your left ear (or would it be my left hand?) is probably not the aesthetic appeal I should be going for, huh?
Okay, on second thought...
I'm okay with being me.

Monday, December 08, 2008

YOU

Make me crazy in the head.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Damn you, Winnie the Pooh...

On Monday, 12.01.08, The Baby went running into the living room. She was excited about something, I had told her to go sit on the couch. What I was going to give her, I can't recall at the moment, but she was excited. (It was probably something food related.)

She said, "Okay!" and scampered off around the corner. I was about a second behind her. Far enough to see, in slow motion, of course, her trip over her ride on Winnie the Pooh toy and tackle the coffee table with her face.

It was already a large lump accompanied by a bruise in the split second it took me to get to her.

I tried to get her to let me hold the ice pack on her forehead, but she wasn't having any of it.

The lump was mostly gone by morning, but the bruise remained diligently.

I ran (no not literally) by the Whole Foods during my lunch break and picked up some arnica gel. It is supposed to aid in the healing of bruises and the like. I chose the gel because it would be absorbed quicker than a cream.

I didn't get a picture of the initial lump, but I took this picture yesterday morning, 12.04.08.



As bad as it looks, it looks a LOT better. You can see that it's mostly green already. Although she now has a black eye to go with the bump. That showed up Wednesday night, I think. Hopefully it is on it's way to disappearing soon, I am hoping to take Christmas pictures by next week! The guy is going to take her to get her hair trimmed this weekend!

My poor Baby!