Cute? not so much...

So, I know it's been a while - I was sorta off put by a very rude comment somebody tried to post.

anyways - I don't have much to say except to leave you with a story from this past week.

If you were a really close friend in HS, you would know that, although I do not have much of an ass, what I do have jiggles not unlike jell-o.
It has not changed much except for that it might just be a little bigger since I had The Baby. (ie: whatever I had on top before the baby, has just repositioned itself onto my rear.)

So, the other day, I was in the kitchen washing dishes, pantsless. Don't ask me why, just go with it. The Baby comes running in with her arms raised as high as they could go and smacks me in an attempt to get my attention.

Where did she smack me, you ask?

Well, as you might have guessed from my little back story... yep, in just the right spot to get my jell-o jigglin'. Cause that was as high as she could reach.

She stopped for a second and giggled.

Then she hit me again....

and again...

and again...

and by this time, she is full out laughing.

Now, I can't do much with my hands in hot soapy water, but when I did turn around, she ran off, giggling.

Guess she knew I wouldn't think it was that funny...

Oh the joys of Motherhood.

and now that you all have an absolutely wonderful image of me in your heads, I will bid you all a good night.

...

Have you ever felt like you knew someone cared, but you just got that feeling that they wish they didn't? *sigh*

I don't get it....

So, I went out dancing last night - it was wonderful.

I got stuck with some guys who had no idea how to dance, but I think I got just as many good dances out of other guys to make up for them.

I got slightly drunk, but started drinking only water at about 12:45 and I was out til at least 3am, so I wasn't even tipsy driving home. I did, however, have to freakin' pee SO bad the whole way home! At least that kept me awake, huh?

By the end of the night, most of the good dancers had gone home, and pretty much all that was left were the drunk guys who didn't know how to dance in the first place. One of my last dances was teaching a guy how to dance, it was fun though, he was sweet.

To be clear:

Now, I don't go out to pick up guys, I go out to dance. I have a strict 'No' policy.

"Can I have your number?"
"No, I don't give out my number."

"Can I drive you home."
"No, thank you."

"Wanna come back to my place and maybe watch a movie or something?"
"Ummmm.... NO."

"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Sure!"

Okay, okay, so maybe it's not that strict, but I did refuse drinks after I decided that I needed to be drinking water.

To reitterate:

I don't go out to pick up guys. I do not go out to string some guys along all night before I drop the bomb that I'm not going home with them either. I feel that I am very clear.

Don't try to kiss me. Keep your hand off my ass. Don't look down my shirt!

I go out to DANCE. That's it. Really. I may be rusty and unable to keep time as well when I sing, although I'll be singing every single song.... I am there to have a night of fun. Maybe have a few drinks, and it's just a bonus if I don't have to pay for them! I don't want one guy hanging all over me because then, all the guys will think I'm taken and be to scared to ask me to dance! UGH!! Just back off!! I'm not looking for some kind of one night stand, I'm not looking for any kind of relationship, I'm just looking for a dance!!

Sorry - little vent... too bad it won't change anything...

Alright, now, to get to the point. - I Don't Get It.

How is it that I can go out and it doesn't matter whether I am dressed up or just wearing jeans and a black tank top, I will have guys all over me, trying to kiss me, wanting to get my number, trying to impress me whatever....

and I really just don't want anything to do with them for anything other than a little 'friendly' flirting for the night? BUT they are insistant, they ask multiple times for my number after i tell them no. I tell them to find somebody else to dance with and they catch me at the other end of the bar once I've gone to buy my drink or whatever. They let me talk and talk and tell them how I just can't be in a relationship, and then still try to kiss me.

How can I get all this and not want any of it, but the guys I DO want to hang out with, the ones that I make plans to hang out with, just kinda blow me off?!

This one guy, I've known him for years, I love hanging out with him and talking to him and really just being with him, but he moved an hour away. I don't have my own car at the moment, so I made plans. I got a ride out there, I hung out with another friend who lives in the same city and told him all about my plans and whatnot. So, when I call this guy to tell him I'm in town and to see when he wants me to come over - he doesn't answer. All day. I'm calling, he's not answering and not calling me back.

In my head I just know that he's mad at me for choosing to hang out with someone else first or something, which I know is crazy, but I've been crazy like that ever since I got pregnant over two years ago. I just knew he was looking at his phone, seeing that I was calling and putting his phone right back in his pocket and continuing whatever conversation he was having.

I was crushed. That whole week after, I was just so upset, wondering why I hadn't heard from him and why he didn't want to see me and wondering if he just didn't know how to tell me that he doesn't really want to see me. So, does this sound like a high school flashback for y'all yet?

Well, we've 'talked' since. I tried to be cute. When we first made plans, I made him an 'offer' to return something to him personally. So I sent him a text this past wednesday saying the offer will expire in 3 days. He apparently forgot all the 'fine print' I had to painstakingly type out into to consecutive texts when we were first making plans. (with my new job, I'm always sending e-mails and I have to sound professional)

He's not mad at me, which I knew was just silly me in the first place. He apologized once I got upset and told him:

"All I wanted to do was see you again - you blew me off - I tried again - that's it - I won't try again - i got it, ok? :'("

I guess he didn't realize how much it hurt me. I mean, I'm okay, there wasn't any permanent damage that I know of, but I'm glad he knows how I feel now.

I still feel like he's one of my best friends. I miss him.

That's IT.

I'm DONE typing this crap. I'm going to bed. I don't even know what this says, so if it reads like gibberish, I'm sorry.

Bummer...

Well, my internet connection is still wonky - I didn't get on the computer at all last night.

So, I was all excited to go hang out with this guy tonight and what do I get?

A text saying:
(This is in response to my text that said "You're running out of time I'm about to get ready to go out by myself")
"My apologies. I'm still @ work & not feelin too well. I'm going to lay low tonight & rest."

Bummer.

I told him I was sorry he was sick and to definitely rest up and I hope he feels better soon.

So now what am I doing?

Debating whether I should go through the trouble of getting all dressed up and going out just to come home to my depressing little life of lonesomeness.

Maybe I'll just go see a movie, I hear Juno is a real tear jerker.

LOL - I sound so 'emo'!

Okay, okay, so maybe I'm just debating how much effort I want to put into getting dressed and going out!

I'll write out my holidays update later - deal with it!

*Geez - spell check isn't working for me, so I'm sorry if there are any blatant typing errors, I tryed.

Halloween '07

hmmmm.... Halloween....

Well, let's talk about the Saturday before Halloween! We went downtown to to the Oaklawn Block Party. Everyone shows up in costume and there are stands selling beer and Zima and the like outside and there are clubs and bars and restraunts all up and down the strip.

I went with my friend *S*, her friend, oh, let's call him Mr B., and his female cousin *D*. I am dressed in a white jacket with a black bra, a very short blue plaid miniskirt that was given to me for Christmas by my very first serious boyfriend back when I was 16 (it has big safety pins in two rows down the front), White knee-high stockings and patent leather 3in heel pumps.

The whole outfit may have been a mistake, considering how cold it was and how walking outside on gravel in 3in heels for hours killed my hips. (I had to have help walking to the car at 2am and I was NOT drunk thankyouverymuch.)

BUT it was sooooo worth it!

I walked around with a yard stick spanking people until some guy took my yard stick and broke it over some other guy's ass, even though i told him the whole reason I wasn't hitting seriously hard was cause I didn't want to break it damnit!

Well, anyways, I met this guy - let's call him, um... Mr. Right Now. His costume was hilarious! He was wearing a sandwich board breathalizer test, and I think you can guess just where the part that you are supposed to blow into was located. ;)

So I wanted to take a picture with him and I pulled out my camera and guess what! Yep, it was dead, I was SO completely pissed! So he had his friend take a picture with his camera phone and I figured I would text him my e-mail address and have him e-mail it to me, and that would be the easiest way for me to get it.

You should have seen the way he did a double take when I asked him outright for his number. :D lol

So, I waited...

and I waited...

and I WAITED...

Finally I texted him about it he said he was going to get it to me. That was maybe end of Nov. beginning of Dec.? Not exactly sure.

Well, I waited some more...

and a little longer...

Then, a little after midnight on New Years (that'll be another story) I finally gave him a call. He definitely remembered me and was telling me how he felt so stupid for not being able to figure it out. We kept in touch more frequently through texts after that and he finally e-mailed it to me!

but it was only about an inch and a half high!

He said he would try to fix it, but i don't know...

SOOOOO..... That was a few updates on updates on updates all rolled into one...

Here is the most recent update!

We had been trying to get together for a couple weeks, but it just wasn't working out. He would wait til the last minute and I would have already made plans. I don't wait on anybody anymore, I have spent ENOUGH nights at home alone! (on weekends that The Guy has The Baby, of course). This past Saturday was my friends birthday party, he texted me saying he was going out with friends and I could meet up with them if I wanted. I told him I would be at the party, but he could give me a call when they figured out where they were going and I would see how the party was going and maybe I could meet them.

Friday, I find out that I'm not going to have the car. I'm ready to just not go to the party at all because I don't want to have to depend on someone else to get me home and I want to be able to go home when I want to go home!!

So, I text him, "hey, I'm not gunna have a car tonight - maybe next time - have fun" He texts me back, "OK sounds good"

Then, I start thinking about it, and I set it up to be picked up as soon as possible so that I can have the car and go back to the party if I want (or out to meet this guy)

I text him back saying, "might have a car later - I'll call you"
This is what I get back from him: "Bing! Sound good."
Oh, it made me giggle, I could just hear him saying it!

hmmm... this seems to be getting really long....

He didn't go out til after midnight(the bars close at 2 - lame-o) he was barely out for an hour and a half! I told him it would be pointless for me to drive all the way out there (20-30 minutes) and then drive all the way back to hang out at his place after I found out he only lives 15 minutes away. It would be a big pointless triangle for me to drive - and in the FOG no less!

He texted me at a quarter til 2 saying he was going home, so I met him at his place and we a couple movies, had a little make out session and fell asleep on his couch/futon. Not that I can sleep next to someone like that, but it was okay, I left early Sunday. One night of no sleep didn't really seem to affect me all that much. Go figure.

I told him we would get together again this coming friday, and if not friday, then Saturday during the day, but now my Saturday is pretty full... I texted him earlier today asking what he wanted to do, he hasn't texted me back, lets hope he does tomorrow or I'm gunna have to make other plans, cause I am NOT going to sit at home alone!

okay.... I guess tomorrow I'll tell you about Thanksgiving and Christmas!
(Don't be expecting any updatees over the weekend! :P)

I'm sorry, I know!

I kow, I didn't post yesterday, but I promise, I'm not going back on my word! My internet at home is spaztic! I'll update as soon as I can :)

I'm sorry, here, have an update, on me.

Oh wow.... The last thing I wrote about was Speedzone?!
DANG....

well, obviously, it's been a while and you know what that means!

I've been putting off updates because there's just so much, but NOW, I have updates on updates that haven't even been written yet! So I told myself that this week, I write a little update every day and eventually I will have you up to date!

SO... here's my first update.

The day of the speedzone trip, the CPS lady comes to my house, without notice, rolls up her pants' legs takes one look at my house and says 'yeah, this is filthy. Have it cleaned up by tomorrow when I come by, we're trying to get this case closed out by the end of [October]'

THEN - she doesn't show up. Calls me at 7 IN THE MORNING on the 31st desperate to come check the house out. I give her a time and she shows up, I put the dogs in the back room (she's scared of dogs - probably not the best job for her, huh?) but The Baby lets the dogs out... yada yada yada I'm on the phone with her telling her that I've almost got all the dogs put up and what does she do?! SHE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR!! Which of course causes the yappy dog to crazy and she screams bloody murder (not those words, just the sentiment) and runs back to her car.

When I finally do get her back to the house she just peeks in, says, "yeah that looks better, does the rest of the house look like this? Good, I'll call you later tonight to ask you some more questions, but I'm scared the dog is gunna jump the fence.'

Yeah, she never called me. I thought it was over with.

So, here we come to an update on my update.

I came home either last week or the week before to her card on my door again. I call her, she come by, looks at the house and starts to ask me questions.
1. The report said the dog is vicious and bit the baby in the face. (riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight *note sarcasm*)
2. The report said that I don't even like kids and that I just had The Baby to have A baby. (RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT *note even MORE sarcasm*)
3. I don't remember... something like blah blah blah or whatever.

anyways, the thing is now I have no idea who called them! (or what they were on because they obviously don't know me at all...)
I had my suspicions about Guy's family, but I really don't think ANY of them would say something like that! (Not that I'm going to tell him about any of this... the jerk)

oh well, all that really matters is THIS hopefully FINAL update on the update on the update....

Today I got some papers in the mail.

Date of report: 8/28/2007
Specific allegations investigated and disposition:
Type of Alleged Abuse or Neglect:
Neglectful Supervision - RULED OUT
Physical Neglect - RULED OUT

I can also get a copy of the report and get the report removed and destroyed. I have to pay to get the form to fill out to get a copy, but She sent me the removal form with the 'Notice of Findings' paper.

When people ask me about (you know, people I know in real life) I'm just going to tell them I don't want to talk about it - you never know who it could have been! I know I probably won't! I'm going to call tomorrow about getting the copy papers.

Tomorrow I will tell you about Halloween! (That also has an extra update on top of it.)