Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Love...

LOVE

is a BOG OL' CROCK of...

okay, okay, let's not get vulgar here...

let's see if I can make my point in a nicer manner.

I am usually very optimistic person, but this topic is where you will find cynical side rear it's ugly head. I have no faith in love. I have no faith in peoples ability to understand these feelings. Love is a feeling where many people go with their gut, be damned the consequences.

I don't understand how someone could think they are in love after such a short time. I've dated guys for less than three months before who would say they loved me.

I don't think this is appropriate.

At first, I would say it back. I was young it was no big deal. What? You love me? Ok, cool, love you, too. Eventually I would start feeling bad cause I really didn't mean it and since I knew I didn't mean it, how could I be sure that they knew enough about what they were feeling to adequately define it? What if they were just saying it because they thought it was the right thing to say? What if I'm over analyzing everything way too much? (that was a joke, the answer is obvious)

Still. How long is long enough for someone to be able to say they are truly in love? Obviously it varies from person to person. For me, I won't say it unless I mean it. I won't type even type out the words if I don't mean them. I will, however, type things like, 'luv yah', 'luv you', 'luv, me' and the like. Saying something like that, in that manner, makes it not such a serious thing to say. at least in my head.

To be honest, I have actually corrected a boyfriend who told me he loved me after only a month of sporadic dates. "I Love you." "HA - no you don't!"

I admit, not my best moment, but that's what I felt. I felt he, in no way, knew enough about me to be able to love me. I'm sure he loved the idea of me, but not me.

I have often wanted to say 'I love you' to someone, in the heat of passion, a make out session or something of that nature, but I have always refrained. I know I would just be saying because it seemed like an appropriate thing to say at the time. I would not have meant a single word. Sure, I might have loved what was going on, but it definitely wouldn't have meant the same to him since it meant nothing to me. (the words)

I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe in attraction and infatuation as things that drive one to get to know another person, but the phrase, "We fell in love the very fist time we gazed into each other's eyes," is just wishy-washy, smarmy and all round sickening.

It literally makes me cringe whenever I hear people in new relationships tell each other, "I Love You!" I always think, how long have you two even been dating?! How well do you even know each other?! Y'all are still in that awkward phase where you won't even FART in the same HOUSE!

I guess I just know, deep down inside that one of them will do something to hurt the other. I just know it. But all the good times will seem like enough to outweigh the bad things, but they never do, do they? You can forgive, but you never forget, no matter how hard you try.

I don't want to fall in Love because deep down, I know, either I will cause them pain myself, or they will do something to cause me pain which will in turn, cause them pain. What a twisted mind I have, huh?

Well, I guess my point is - don't tell me that you love me unless you mean it. Don't tell anyone that you love them unless you truly believe you do. I don't take kindly to BullShit.

Actually, I guess the real point is. If you are male. I don't trust you.

1 comment:

Lost in Tarnation said...

i don't know. i fell in love with kevan the night that i met him. we sat up all night talking about our pasts, our families, our goals, our regrets. i fell in love with what he stood for, what he wanted out of life, the way that he spoke about his family. i fell completely in love with him that night and have just fallen more in love with him everyday for the last 6 years. cheesy, i know. but one day you'll find that person and you'll just know that they're special.