Casey's Obituary

Casey C., 24, was received into the hands of God, Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2008, after a courageous battle with cancer.

Celebration of life: 5 p.m. Saturday at Advent Lutheran Church, Arlington

Casey was born June 18, 1984, in Arlington and had resided there all his life. He was a 2002 graduate of Lamar High School, where he competed on the Viking wrestling team. While in high school, he received the Who's Who Among High School Students award for his achievements with the Lamar A cappella Choir. Casey's close relationship with God led him to participate in "Happening - A Christian Experience" and assist his father with the Kairos Prison Ministry. He was a member of the road crew for Paradigm, a local band, and enjoyed playing competitive billiards with multiple pool leagues in the Mid-Cities area. He will be deeply missed and always be remembered as a free-spirited person who was happiest when surrounded by his family and friends.

Sadness

A good friend of mine and a wonderful person left to be with God on Tuesday October 14th at 10:15 pm. He was only 24, but cancer doesn't really care how old you are, does it?

We will be celebrating his life in the coming weeks. Please pray for his family and his friends that they may find peace during this difficult time. He has touched many lives. He has forever left his mark on my heart, and he will not be forgotten. My only solace is found in the fact that he has made his way home and is no longer in pain.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/caseychrystie

Torn, so very torn.

It's been a good month. I know, I know, I haven't always been able to say nice things about The Guy, but right now, I can't think of anything but nice things.

The month isn't even half over and we've already been to the Cottonwood Art Festival/park (I will be posting some pictures and websites soon), The Texas State Fair and he has just promised to go to three other events with us!

It was the simplest e-mail. I sent him a link to a fall fest event in my town. He replied saying he would go with us and also go to the two other events that we had already talked about. It may be pitch black outside, but I swear my smile just lit up the whole block. I couldn't be happier or more excited!

So excited, and yet, torn at the same time. Hence, the title of this post.

There are times when I think that it might be a good thing to welcome a new romantically inclined relationship with The Guy, but then there is always the 'What If?' factor. What if it doesn't work? What if we wind up hating each other and can't even deign to be civil in one another's presence, even if only for The Baby? What if she hates me because I would be the reason that we hate each other? What if I ruin a budding friendship trying to create my own little happy family?

But then, what if she hates me for never trying? What if it does work? What if we do become that happy family that every little girl wants?

'What If?'

As much as I hate to admit it, I do want to get married and have another baby someday. I know that I am SO not ready for that right now; I don't think I could handle anyone besides myself and The Guy raising The Baby. You see where I am torn? Too scared to move forward, too much to lose going back...

Maybe I am just overly and unusually emotional right now (I get this way sometimes, it's pretty clockwork worthy), but I am happy. Things could get better, things could get worse, but I will do my best to not be the cause of the latter.

I must be tired, I feel like I'm babbling. Goodnight, I have to go change my sheets where The Baby peed on my bed this morning...

It's that Time again!! Freaky Fried Fair Food!

Yep, that's right, We are headed to the fair tomorrow for our annual picture with Big Tex (Let's hope he'sfeeling photogenic!). Which reminds me, I need to wash more clothes tonight!

Here is a list of some of the delightful, deep fried delicacies you might find this year:

The State Fair of TEXAS!!
in all of it's deep fried glory!

Chicken Fried Bacon – Thick and peppery Farm Pac® bacon is seasoned, double-dipped in a special batter and breading and deep-fried. Served with a creamy side of ranch or honey mustard sauce. Winner of Best Taste in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Fried Banana Split – A mixture of banana and honey peanut butter is rolled in balls, battered and deep-fried and topped with assorted, delicious fixings, including powdered sugar, caramel and chocolate syrups, chopped peanuts, whipped cream and banana split flavored ice cream bites then fittingly crowned with the traditional cherry. Winner of Most Creative in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Fernie’s All-American Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich – An American classic with a State Fair twist. Two slices of white bread filled with a blend of American and cheddar cheeses, dipped in an egg and milk batter and lightly coated with panko bread crumbs for extra crispness. Served with a side of shoestring potato sticks, a pickle spear and tomato soup dipping sauce. The All American Meal! Finalist in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Texas Fried Jelly Belly Beans – Jelly Belly Beans are rolled in funnel cake batter and fried to a crunch. People can share the treat with friends and try to guess the flavors before biting down. Finalist in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Deep Fried S’mores – Marshmallow cream and chocolate chips are sandwiched between two graham crackers, dipped in a feather-light batter and fried to a golden brown. The campfire-inspired treats are dusted in powdered sugar. Finalist in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Fire & Ice – A pineapple ring is battered and deep-fried, then topped with banana-flavored whipped cream that’s been frozen in liquid nitrogen. The smoking concoction is ladled with strawberries and syrup. Finalist in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Fried Chocolate Truffles – A silky-smooth, handmade, dark chocolate truffle is rolled in cocoa powder before being battered and deep-fried. The melting chocolate goodness is dusted in cinnamon, sugar and cocoa powder. Finalist in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Waffle Balls – Plump fresh strawberries covered in a thick chocolate shell are dipped in a sweet, waffle batter and deep-fried. Dusted with powdered sugar and served on a stick.

Fried Pop Rocks Fundae Blast - Ignite your senses with this explosion of Tastes. Fried Ice Cream covered in Hershey’s Syrup and Pop Rocks. Your fuse is a Twizzler rolled in Pop Rocks. While you disarm it, you’ll find an Atomic Fireball inside . . .“Fire in the Bowl”! (Give THAT to the kiddos!)

Fried Dinner Roll – A savory dinner roll lusciously filled with cream cheese and covered with a sweet batter, placed on a stick and deep fried to perfection.

Fried Cake on a Stick – A delicious, chocolate covered white cake filled with strawberry jelly and cream, dipped in sweet batter and deep fried until golden brown and served on a stick!

Green Bean Fries - Fresh Green Beans lightly battered, deep fried, and served with a side of cucumber ranch dressing for dipping!

Texas Bar-B-Que Eggrolls - BW’s Chopped Beef in an eggroll wrap, deep fried to a delicate crispness, and served with BBQ sauce for dipping or ignite your senses further with a splash of Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce.

“Jalapeno” Deep Fried Gorditas - Jalapeno flavored gordita cooked on the grill and then deep fried, stuffed with beef, chicken, or bean & cheese, and finally topped with lettuce, tomato, guacamole, and cheese.

Fried Apple iPie – A warm, delicious crispy fried apple pie with just a hint of cinnamon, is smothered in rich vanilla ice cream and topped with an edible iPod “like” mp3 player and whipped cream. Real working souvenir “ear-bud” earphones complete this tasty iPie experience!
Fried Snowballs – Fresh from the fryer! A lightly battered Snowball (cupcake) dusted with powdered sugar!

Fried Honey Bun – A lightly battered Honey Bun, served fresh from the fryer with a light dusting of powdered sugar!

Deep Fried Apple Bites ­– Fresh cut apples dipped in a homemade batter, deep fried, and then covered with a caramel sauce and cinnamon topping!

Bread Pudding with Rum Sauce – An old favorite returning after several years absence! Warm bread pudding chock full of real butter, cream, and rich cinnamon flavor served with a creamy rum sauce. *Drool*

Mini Chopped BBQ Slider - Sweet, tangy and juicy chopped barbecue beef brisket on a mini bun. Just the right size for a taste of Texas barbecue.

Mini Chicken Fried Steak Slider - A miniature crispy chicken fried steak patty served on a mini bun with a side of cream gravy. A bite size version of "Big Texas Taste".

Dessert Shooters - A 3 oz. serving of rich and decadent desserts. Your choice of three fabulous flavors:
Chocolate Oreo Mousse: a layer of Oreo cookie crumbs, creamy chocolate pudding, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, sprinkled with more Oreos and a cherry on top.
Strawberry Cheesecake: Graham cracker crumbs, classic cheesecake filling, strawberry sauce, whipped cream and more graham cracker crumbs.
Vanilla Caramel Supreme: crushed Vanilla Wafers, creamy vanilla pudding, rich caramel sauce, whipped cream, sprinkled with more Vanilla Wafers and a cherry on top.

Jalapeno Tamaritto – Ignite your taste buds with two Pedro’s Tamales wrapped in a warm flour tortilla, topped with chili, cheese, and Pedro’s spicy Jalapeno relish!

Ignited Moon Pie­ - The Original Moon Pie, lightly battered and deep fried, then gently sprinkled with powdered sugar!

Fruit Bag Drinks ­– Fruit, juice and ice combined in a clear bag with a straw for slow sipping. Savor the flavor of the juice and then eat the fruit!

Beefy Fried Queso Bites ­– Queso mixed with taco meat, breaded in a zesty batter and deep fried.

Chick-a-Mole Bites – Guacamole mixed with a taco-flavor shredded chicken and cheddar/Monterey jack cheese, breaded in a zesty batter and deep fried.

and Last but not Least:

Crispy Fried Cantaloupe Pie – Diced cantaloupe seasoned with brown sugar, cinnamon and coconut milk, rolled in a flaky pie pastry, and then deep fried. Topped with powdered sugar and whip cream.

Now, I know, reading some of these descriptions might make you feel like throwing up in your mouth, (like the bacon - gag) You have to admit that those dessert shooters sound heavenly. To be honest, after reading about the bread pudding, I was not surprised to find my socks wet from the drool that had pooled in my shoes. I mean, c'mon! You get souvenir ear bid with the Fried Apple iPie! Who could resist that?!

ref: http://www.bigtex.com/

The Spider

There I was, in my car, leaving the ranch. He opens the gate so that I can pull through and comes up to the window for one last kiss goodbye.

As he is giving me directions on how to get home, a small green spider comes down from the tree above him and lands on my shirt sleeve. My eyes get wide and I stop listening to anything he is saying.

*slightly high pitched with just a tinge of panic* "It's a spider, and it's on my shirt...!"

He goes to grab it. It jumps into my lap and disappears onto the seat between my legs.

He can't see it. "Where'd it go?"

*a little more high pitched and practically full panic mode* "I DON'T KNOW!!"
(as I unbuckle my seat belt and frantically remove myself from danger and into the passenger seat)

"You're still in gear!! Put it in park; put it in PARK!!"

He sees the spider now and tries to catch it with his bare hands, failing each time. He finally asks for a piece of paper. After a minute or so of trying to persuade the spider that it, in fact, would be a good idea for it to actually walk on to the paper instead of away from it, the spider complies.

He removes the spider from my car and places him back into the tree where he belongs.

I slide back into my seat and rebuckle my seat belt, completely embarrassed.

He is my hero.

A conversation with The Baby

Me : The Baby

I love you...
Thank you.

I love you...
Thank you.

I love you...
I love you, too!
Thank you!
You're welcome!

I love you!
I love you, too.

:pause:

I love you, too, too!!

It's time I came clean...

I broke up with a guy who called himself my boyfriend a couple weeks ago.

Coincidentally, he shares his name with The Guy, so we shall now refer to him as The Old Guy. Now, this name may be extrememly hilarious to those of you who knew anything about The Old Guy, but I assure you, the name has nothing to do with the fact that he is 15 years older than me. What can I say? I have an eye for older men. I tend to steer clear of younger guys, just as a general rule, so I guess, in the back of my twisted mind, the opposite of a younger guy is a much older one... but his name merely has to do with the status of the relationship between him and myself. Old.

Anyways, we had been semi-dating for three months. He turned out to be everything that I don't need right now.

Here's a little backstory:

I met him back in November of '05. Basically a week after I got pregnant. I was in a play at the time, he came to see it and we double dated with another girl in the cast afterwards. He came up the next day as well with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. Only thing was, I had another friend coming to see me that night. (The one from a few posts back that I won't be speaking to anytime soon...) So, The Old Guy traveled for work and I'm an 'Out of Sight, Out of Mind' kind of girl, so we just kinda fizzled out. I did feel it was really that big of a deal, but apparently it hurt him really badly. He deleted me from his inbox and I started dating the other guy.

Well, back in May, I was going through my old e-mails, looking for something specific when I found an e-mail he had sent back in '05. He's a nice guy, has a great sense of humor and I started to wonder why I hadn't talked to him in so long. So I sent him an e-mail:

Hi The Old Guy,

I came across an old e-mail from you today, one of the first, if I am not mistaken. It made me smile. Hope you are well. Would love to get together sometime. Maybe catch up a little bit. It would be nice to see you.

~Me~

We went out to lunch, it was fun, we had a few dates, a few dates turned into going out as regularly as possible and eventually he met The Baby. I was not ready for him to meet her, but she ran outside when I opened the door to come in after he dropped my car off (he took it to get the oil changed and put some kind of coating on the windshield and got new wipers - all of his own accord) and there he was. So I let her say, 'Hi.'

I believe that was the begining of the end. I told The Guy about The Old Guy. I had to tell him because I would want him to tell me if he was ever going to have some strange woman hanging around My Baby.

I tried to limit contact between The Old Guy and The Baby, but he really wanted to spend time with both of us, so we went to a movie together. It went well, but I realized that I might not be able to handle someone else trying to steer my child to being better behaved.

The Old Guy then started talking about how he was glad that we fizzled out before because he wasn't ready for anything serious back then and how glad he was that I had contacted him in May. He started saying how he was finally ready to settle down, get married, have kids. Oh dear, I know to most women, that's like a glorious and melodious songs spewing from a mans lips. To me, it was like fingernails on a chalkboard, like the screeching tires of a car coming to a sudden stop.

I felt that I was leading him on after that. I couldn't shake the feeling that this 'relationship' was all wrong. I mean, I couldn't stand the terms 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', and we had been dating for three months. That's not a good sign.

So I broke it off. He took it well, so I thought. Then he started writing. Now, he had written before, but it's just unsettling to keep getting letters in the mail after you've already broken up with somebody. Especially when these letters are written on pretty green stationary with butterflies and flowers with matching envelopes.

Then came the long e-mails. He started therapy and he would write to me about how his therapy sessions were going:

Subject: Good therapy session

"You,

First,I'm not expecting these letters to change things.

Second,I'm not expecting you to reply to these letters. I'm not even expecting you to read these emails.

I enjoy communicating, and I'm writing these emails for me. If you want to read them, then that's fine. And I'm certain that these letters will cease soon anyway, so minimal worries on your part."

Ah, thank you for giving me permission to read my own e-mail...

I received this first e-mail the day I found out that my good friend/mygood friends grandmother had died. I have now blocked his e-mail address and will not be getting any more of his e-mails. As much as I wanted to, I did not tell him. He doesn't know that I'm not getting his e-mails, so if they are helping him, then thank God for that cause he needs all the help he can get.

At one point while we were dating, I got mad at The Guy and his family and, in the midst of a vent, said to The Old Guy, "Well maybe I just won't invite them to the birthday party then! *harumph*" He took me as being serious and from then on was expecting that he would be at the birthday party instead of The Guy and his family. I tried to let him down easy, I thought he took it well. I was wrong.

I got a letter in the mail a few days later. Essentially he wished that I would have called him during the birthday party (that I had already been stressing about) and while we were at the Aquarium the next day with The Guy. Just so that he would know that I was thinking of him.

AH - I'm tired of writing about him. So, in short, he turned out to be very needy and insecure and in need of constant validation for his actions.

All things that I don't have the time or the patience to deal with in a man when I am already dealing with them in toddler form.

*whew*

I feel better.