Happy Holidays!

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas or a Happy Hanukkah!

I started losing my voice a few days before Christmas and I still haven't found it. Well, at least I haven't found mine. I seem to have stumbled upon the voice of a very large, emphysematic (yes, I just made that word up...) biker who has smoked 3 packs a day for the past 45 or so years, though. I imagine that he has a balding head, a long black ponytail with a touch of grey, a fully grey handlebar moustache and a big studded black leather jacket with matching pants. Can you hear it? I can.

This happens a couple times per year, this losing my voice thing. Last time,I couldn't remember what my voice sounded like normally, so when it finally did come back, I wasn't sure it was really mine!

I will be leaving Wednesday morning for Tampa to visit my Mom and Gramma. We will be gone for the better part of a week.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Years Eve!

Until next year!

Picture FUN!!

I had been trying to get Christmas pictures done for over a week. I was planning to do them this past Saturday while The Guy was working.

A couple days before, he informs me that him mom and his aunt really want to watch The Baby while he is working. I told him I was planning on taking pictures and he asks me why I can't do them on Monday after work. (Three days before Christmas) If I put it off again, it won't get done, I had been trying to do it after work all week!

We agree that I will take her for the afternoon and bring her back for dinner so I can get the pictures done. I woke up excited Saturday only to find a txt message on my phone asking, once again, if I can wait on the pictures because now his sister is coming home to see her.

So I called him.

"If I don't get to do these today, then I want you to bring her back early tomorrow and help me with the pictures."

"Ok, yeah, I guess I can do that."

So, Sunday rolled around and what did he do?

He put her down for her nap an hour and a half late, brought her back on time (not early, he was actually 5 minutes late if we're going to be technical about it) and dared to tell me that it doesn't take that long to take pictures.

*exasperated sigh*

Thank goodness I had everything set up! The back drop was set, the lighting was good, I cleaned the white chair so that it actually looks white. We were ready!

I made up a plate of chicken, mashed potatoes and basil pasta for The Baby. (Leftovers from our company Christmas party this past Friday.) I cut up her chicken and stuck it in the microwave. I already knew The Guy would be hungry and was already making his plate when I asked him if he was. (He got the last of the left overs.)

FINALLY...

Both plates were clean, it's time to get The Baby dressed for what promised to be an exhausting ordeal.

The guy dressed her, tights and all, all by himself. I was quite impressed!

We set her up on the chair. I got the camera out, ready to start snapping...

WHAT?!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BATTERY IS DEAD?!?!

I took the battery out and stuck it on the charger . I was going to give it about 15 minutes and I hoped that would be long enough to get a few good shots before it died again. Then I figured we could charge it again while we changed her into the second dress! Perfect!

To keep her entertained while we waited for the battery to charge, we both started snapping pictures with our phones. If only my phone had better than a 2mp camera on it, I swear some of those pictures turned out really cute!

Of course, she used most of her cute poses on the camera phones and by the time we got the regular camera back out, it was all silliness!

She grabbed a TY lamb off the bed and I let her use it in the pictures. Good thinking Baby! A Prop! Too bad her next choice was a rock that she had brought in from the driveway last week....

Well, the battery charging plan worked just as I had hoped and we got some good pictures. By about 8:30, somebody was getting cranky so we had to stop. I think we wore her out good because she went down for bedtime really easily. Thank Goodness!

Finally!

I've been wanting to get this done for YEARS!! I finally just decided that today was the day!

Merry Early Christmas to Me!

Do you Woot?

http://www.woot.com/

http://www.woot.com/WhatIsWoot.aspx


Basically, woot.com is a website that puts up a new 'Deal A Day' everyday. Usually a pretty good deal, or so I'm told. Plus shipping is only $5 for anything. (The writers pull out some pretty funny stuff in the descriptions as well, so if you don't go for the 'stuff', you'll at least get a kick out of that!)

Periodically, they will have a 'Woot Off' where they put up something until it is sold out. Don't worry, though, they usually put things up multiple times throughout the ordeal, which could last anywhere from 24 - 72 hours. A 'Woot Off' can be identified by the orange flashing lights on the main page.

At some point during a 'Woot Off', Woot will offer up a coveted 'Bag of Crap'. A BoC is sold for only $1 and could contain any number of things (it is defined as 3 different things, but that is not always the case). Anything that they have not been able to sell or don't think are worth selling, you'll have to ask them, I guess. I hear someone actually got one of those spiffy, cool, roaming robot vacuums in her $1 BoC!

I should also mention at this point that these BoCs are coveted so because it is a task to get one. Once it comes up in a Woot Off, you better believe every person watching woot.com is going to be clicking the 'I want one!' button, which, in turn, is hard on the system. Servers crashing left and right I'm sure. I have successfully obtained two BoCs during the past two Woot Offs. It has not come up yet for this one.

Well, to make a point of this description, I have a story to go with:

During the last 'Woot Off', I obtained a BoC.

For my $6.50 ($1BoC+$5shipping+$.50tax cause I live in the same state), I received the following.


Words cannot adequately convey how hard I laughed when I opened this:

Each small box contains a life size, life like, ceramic pack of doublemint gum and one miniature ceramic piece of doublemint gum.

Each pack contains 3 small boxes.

The case contains 24 packs.

That's right, I am now the 'proud' owner of 72 ceramic packs of Doublemint Gum.

Sweet! er... Minty!

Guess I've got Christmas covered, huh?

* I noticed I am getting some hits from real wooters (I'm really only a whenever-I-remember kind of wooter) *waves* Thanks Gretchen! - Please feel free to add to or correct my woot.com description if you feel it is inadequate!

"I'm a little Teapot..."

"I'm a little Teapot,

Short and Stout.

Here is my handle,

and here is my Spout.

When I get all steamed up,

Hear me shout!

Then tip me over

and pour me out!"

Sometimes I wish I could be like that. When I would get real steamed up and dangerously mad, I could just lean a little to the left. The steam would escape, taking with it the red I was seeing, the fogginess it was creating in my brain and The headache that was forming prom the stress the pressure was putting on my brain.

I would be able to think clearly and rationally about whatever it was that was making me mad. I would be able to understand the consequences of the violence I was considering. I would be able to calmly state my feelings without a passive aggressive undertone.

The only maybe not so sweet part is that people would be able to tell when I was pissed. They would start running when they hear me walking down the hall whistling 'Dixie'. The dogs would never come inside and there would be mold everywhere! Not to mention what would happen if I didn't lean to the left! Well, at least I wouldn't have to clean up that mess, right?

And what guy would want to be with a girl who is always leaning, anyways? Having water and steam coming out of your left ear (or would it be my left hand?) is probably not the aesthetic appeal I should be going for, huh?

Okay, on second thought...

I'm okay with being me.

YOU

Make me crazy in the head.

Damn you, Winnie the Pooh...

On Monday, 12.01.08, The Baby went running into the living room. She was excited about something, I had told her to go sit on the couch. What I was going to give her, I can't recall at the moment, but she was excited. (It was probably something food related.)

She said, "Okay!" and scampered off around the corner. I was about a second behind her. Far enough to see, in slow motion, of course, her trip over her ride on Winnie the Pooh toy and tackle the coffee table with her face.

It was already a large lump accompanied by a bruise in the split second it took me to get to her.

I tried to get her to let me hold the ice pack on her forehead, but she wasn't having any of it.

The lump was mostly gone by morning, but the bruise remained diligently.

I ran (no not literally) by the Whole Foods during my lunch break and picked up some arnica gel. It is supposed to aid in the healing of bruises and the like. I chose the gel because it would be absorbed quicker than a cream.

I didn't get a picture of the initial lump, but I took this picture yesterday morning, 12.04.08.



As bad as it looks, it looks a LOT better. You can see that it's mostly green already. Although she now has a black eye to go with the bump. That showed up Wednesday night, I think. Hopefully it is on it's way to disappearing soon, I am hoping to take Christmas pictures by next week! The guy is going to take her to get her hair trimmed this weekend!

My poor Baby!

Damnit...

I locked my keys in my car... :\

I blame you.

It doesn't work like that.

Pretending that nothing happened does not make it go away. I know you got the messages I sent, so there is absolutely NO freaking way you could not have known that I was pissed.

Kudos for calling back when you said you would. Negative kudos for not answering or calling back when we got disconnected.

Looks like you are back to square one.

_ _ _


When I give you a time when I could possibly bring The Baby to see you because I will be in the area, not getting back to me until 20 minutes before the time I gave you is not going to work. Especially when you say we can only visit only for 30 minutes or so. Don't give me stipulations when I'm doing you a favor.

Telling me it's good that I told you nevermind because you're about to pass out makes me wonder what you thought this visit would be like. Why would I want to bring her to see you only to have you so exhausted that you are about to fall asleep? Where is the sense in that?

Think about it.

Oh wait, that's right - you don't do that.

My bad, I forgot.

xoxo
Me.

I apologize in advance for my inevitable profanity...

Let me get this straight...

You tell me what I want to hear only to do whatever the fuck you want to do anyways?
I tell you your daughter has been asking, no, telling me that she is going to see her daddy and she's going to go over to her daddy's house today, every day, for the past FOUR days and you don't even TRY to come see her?

Then, when I finally do ask you to come over, you give me some lame ass excuse. When I tell you I am tired of telling YOUR Daughter that no, she is NOT going to see her daddy today, you say you'll figure something out. Which was obviously a FUCKING LIE.

You didn't think about it, you never think about anything! Then you fucking avoided me. Did not answer your damn phone, did not call me back, did not answer my text messages. You didn't have the fucking BALLS to let me know that you weren't coming. You Fucking coward. You cannot just avoid confrontation and hope it goes away. Grow up and be a man. You have a kid and that fact doesn't change just because you wanna hang out with your friends.

The Baby said she was going to see you that day as well - I didn't answer because I did not know what to say.

Don't worry, though. I know exactly what to say now. "No, honey, we are not going to see your daddy today. If he shows to pick you up on Friday, you will see your daddy. We're not going to let him in the house though. He has worn out his welcome here."